Domestic abuse

The UK Government define domestic abuse as:

‘Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. This can encompass but is not limited to the following types of abuse: psychological, physical, sexual, financial, emotional.'

Controlling behaviour is “a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and /or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.”

Controlling acts may include, but aren’t exclusive to, manipulation, intimidation, sexual coercion and psychological abuse. The behaviour is intended to make a person become submissive, or to isolate them from sources of support, such as their friends and family. It might include monitoring their time, or communication with others, including checking someone’s mobile phone or online communication.

It could also be exploiting their resources, such as their wages or access to money, depriving them of their independence and trying to regulate or control everyday behaviour such as where they can go, who they can see and what to wear.

It may be stopping someone accessing specialist support services, repeatedly putting them down, humiliating or degrading them and making threats to hurt them or their children, or publish private information about them.

Something that may seem like harmless behaviour in isolation can have devastating effects on a victim when they’re subjected to repeated controlling behaviour. We’d encourage people to speak to someone about any behaviour that is concerning them, all reports will be treated sensitively and taken seriously.

Coercive behaviour is: “an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish or frighten their victim.” 

“This definition includes so called ‘honour’ based violence, female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage, and is clear that the victims are not confined to one gender or ethnic group”.

Some examples of coercive control are: 

• Isolating you from your friends and family 
• Depriving you of basic needs, such as food or care 
• Monitoring how you spend your time 
• Tracking what you do online or on your phone 
• Controlling aspects of your everyday life, such as where you can go, who you can see, what you can wear and when you can sleep 
• Stopping you from accessing support services, such as medical services or support groups 
• Repeatedly putting you down, saying you are worthless 
• Humiliating, degrading or dehumanising you.

Stalking is a pattern of persistent and unwanted attention that makes you feel pestered, scared, anxious or harassed. Some examples of stalking are:

• Regularly giving unwanted gifts
• Making unwanted communication
• Damaging property
• Repeatedly following you or spying on you
• Threats.

Taken in isolation, some of the behaviours may seem like small acts, but together they make up a consistent pattern of behaviour that’s frightening and upsetting. It’s important to know that stalking is a criminal offence and if you go to the police, they’ll take it seriously.

Forced marriage

Unlike an arranged marriage, where the prospective spouses may choose whether or not they wish to accept the partnership, a forced marriage is when one or both spouses do not consent to the marriage, or consent is extracted through duress.

Forced marriages can happen to anyone from any background and nationality and can affect both males and females. It doesn’t only happen to young people; it can happen to adults too. 

From June 2014, forcing someone to marry against their will is a crime and anyone found guilty can face up to seven years in prison.

Honour Based Violence (HBV)?

It is a crime or incident, which has or may have been committed, to protect or defend the honour of the family and/ or community. HBV has the potential to be both a domestic abuse and child abuse concern. In terms of domestic abuse risk assessment, HBV is a significant risk factor for victims and must be regarded as a significant predictor of the likelihood of future harm or homicide.

Female genital mutilation? (FGM)

Female genital mutilation (FGM), also called ‘female cutting’ or ‘female circumcision, is when a female's genitals are deliberately altered or removed for non-medical reasons.

FGM happens because of various cultural, religious and social reasons. Some communities think that FGM will help the girl in some way, such as preparing her for marriage or childbirth.

FGM can cause severe psychological, emotional and medical problems. It can include extreme pain, shock, infection and many other long term serious medical issues.

Types of FGM

FGM is grouped into four main types:

• type 1: part or total removal of the clitoris or clitoral hood
• type 2: part or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minor
• type 3: narrowing of the vaginal opening 
• type 4: all other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes

FGM and the law

The Female Genital Mutilation Act 2003 makes it illegal to:

• perform FGM in the UK
• help or arrange for anyone to carry out FGM abroad on girls who are British Nationals or UK residents
• help a girl to carry out FGM on herself
• fail to protect a girl under 16 who is known to be at risk of FGM

FGM carries a penalty of up to 14 years in prison.

Support agencies

The National Domestic Abuse Helpline

This website has very good information that applies to anyone in any area about what to do in an emergency and how you can prepare if you’re thinking about leaving.

The Women’s Aid site – has advice on using computers safely and covering your tracks, if necessary. You may want to use a computer in a library or at a friend’s house.

The Survivors Handbook from Women’s Aid – provides practical support and information for women experiencing domestic abuse, with simple guidance on every aspect of seeking support. It covers everything from working out if you think you may be in an abusive relationship to what to do to protect your children.

Bright Sky is a free mobile app that provides support and information for anyone who may be in an abusive relationship or those concerned about someone they know.

The app is also available to use in a variety of languages.

For more information, please search for Bright Sky in your device’s app store:

• Bright Sky in Apple Store

• Bright Sky in Google Play

Local services include:

Find the helplines and support services available in your local council area here

• National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline: 24-hour helpline 0808 2000 247  http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/
• Women’s Aid: For a full A-Z list of local support groups www.womensaid.org.uk
• Refuge: For support and advice, literature and articles refuge.org.uk
• Men’s Advice Line and Enquiries: Support for men suffering domestic violence and abuse 0808 801 0327 www.mensadviceline.org.uk
• Respect not Fear: Website offering information and support for young people on domestic violence and other related issues in Nottinghamshire www.respectnotfear.co.uk
• Mankind Initiative: Support for male victims of domestic violence and abuse 01823 334 244  www.mankind.org.uk
• Karma Nirvana : A confidential helpline providing emotional and practical support and advice of forced marriage and / or honour based violence and abuse 0800 599 9247
• Galop: The LGBT+ anti-violence charity 0800 999 5428 www.galop.org.uk
• FGM: Organisations offering advice and support - Womankind Worldwide – Website offering support and advice for victims and survivors of FGM (Female genital mutilation)
• Standing Together Against Domestic Abuse is a national charity bringing communities together to end domestic abuse – the website offers more information on different forms of violence against women and girls.